Signs of Infidelity
Statistics tell us that 50% of men who think their partner is cheating are correct and 85% of women who notice signs of infidelity are right. Infidelity is steadily increasing. Here are some of the common signs of infidelity.
- The most common situation in which infidelity takes place is if an opportunity presents itself – business trips with colleagues, car pools, meetings at a gym.
- More time spent away from home, frequent absences - shopping, conferences, seminars, business trips, fishing, working late, trips to places where the spouse will be not able to be contacted
- Lack of interest in sex and avoiding sex using ridiculous reasons
- Distraction, daydreaming, disorganization
- Evenings out “with the girls” or “with poker buddies.” The spouse is not included.
- Secrecy – the spouse turns off the computer monitor when someone enters the room or goes outdoors or to another room to talk on the phone.
- Late night computer use
- High phone bills
- Secret credit cards
- Checks up on the spouse to make sure he/she won’t be checking on the cheater
- High mileage on the car or not enough mileage on the car when he/she was supposed to be going a long distance
- Refuses rides to or pickups from the airport
- Clothes smell of a perfume or after shave of the opposite sex
- Spouse brings home clean laundry
- Spouse returns from work in different clothes
- Unexplained credit card charges or payments on the bank statement, unexplained receipts
- Credit card charges made in town when he/she was supposedly out of town
- Secret withdrawals of money or secret credit cards
- Less money deposited from a paycheck into a joint bank account
Here are more signs of infidelity:
- Many, long phone calls
- Has a secret cell phone or unknown numbers stored
- Has a secret e-mail address and account
- Deletion of e-mail messages, phone messages, etc.
- Has a “special friend” of the opposite sex
- The innocent spouse receives special gifts or flowers for no reason.
- The cheating partner suspects his/her partner and acts accusatory, due to his/her own guilt.
- Has deposit slips for someone else’s bank account
- Loans money for unusual reasons or lies about where money went
- Carries someone else’s house keys or garage door opener
- Makes drastic and wide-ranging efforts to lose weight, buy sexy underwear, color hair, and improve wardrobe, grooming and hygiene
- Makes a change in attitude, usually perceived as not caring as much about the spouse or not making an effort within the relationship
- Refuses to talk about extramarital affairs or people he/she once showed interest in
- Suddenly has many new friends and hangouts
- Not being where he/she said he/she would be
- Cryptic remarks made by friends (They are hints.)
- Removal of the kids’ toys and car seats from the car
- Items in the car do not belong to anyone in the family
- Gets a sexually transmitted disease
- Has a change in body odor
- Strange personal items are found in the home when the spouse has been away – sometimes left on purpose by the cheater’s lover for the spouse to find
- Hidden gifts or cards don’t show up on holidays or birthdays (Check car trunks and the garage, tool boxes, sanitary napkin boxes.)
- Has cyber sex or meets people in person from chat rooms
- Shows uncomfortable behavior around a friend or neighbor of the opposite sex, ignores the person.
- Avoids work colleagues when accompanied by the spouse
This is only a partial list of the telltale signs of infidelity; they are numerous. Keep your eyes open and let your spouse know that you are very aware of how to spot infidelity. Make sure your spouse knows how you feel about cheating and what the consequences for adultery will be if it happens. Learn about how to tell spouse cheating here.